Q&A: Wrapping Basics

Q: Why do you wrap?
A: That is such a complicated and amazing question!  That's why that answer is an entire section of my blog, so you can read many different stories from many different mothers!

Q: Why do you like wrapping specifically, instead of other carriers?
A: I fell immediately in love with wrapping when I realized that I could carry my children without back pain.  A good carry with a wrap is absolutely night and day for me!  Sunflower was in an odd position for most of my third trimester, and I have had lower-middle back pain ever since then, probably exacerbated by nursing and leaning over my baby and being in a fog when I didn't take care of myself.  As his babyhood progressed, so did my pain, until eventually I spent a year in chiropractic care, took up yoga, and spent months in physical therapy.  The consensus was that my back problems are chronic and the best I can do is manage them, which I have learned to do.  Meanwhile, I limited myself to carrying Sunflower for an hour a day, and when Sunflower was not quite three I tried to stop lifting him altogether.  I now really regret that I felt like I had to limit him like this, and I am sad that I missed out on all those sweet-baby snuggles, and spent so much effort trying to make him be independent.  I think we could have avoided a lot of toddler struggles if I had been able to carry him more.  I first tried wrapping when Sunflower was FOUR YEARS OLD, and it was immediately more comfortable than when I was trying to wear him as a baby!

Like so many next-time-around parents, this time I want to treasure every moment and enjoy my little girl for as long as she is little.  I am grateful every day that I can wear my little one for all the time that her heart needs or wants wearing, without feeling like I am compromising my own health.

Q: When and why do you wrap your baby?
A: I wear Buttercup for her naps, when we are out and walking, when she starts getting out of control and destructive, when I need to be helping the older kids and she is in the way, when we have to wait around in a non-kid-friendly place, to keep her safe, to help her calm down, when she is feeling lonely, when she is feeling overwhelmed, when she wants to watch what I'm doing, and most of the time when I'm cooking (which meets many of the above categories!).

Q: Why do you wrap your bigger kids?  They are definitely old enough to walk!
A: Wrapping is love.  It really is.  Big kids needs love too... they need lots of it.  That's basically it.

Logistically, there is more to it.  I started wrapping Sunflower to help with his sensory processing issues, and I could see a huge difference.  One reason I wrap Hibiscus is because she needs a chance to "go back to babyhood" and have a chance to bond with a mother.  Also, since wraps can fit any child, if I have one on hand it will serve me in an emergency.  Sunflower has fallen and hurt himself badly a couple of times, and I have been able to carry him home; I've been very grateful for wraps, since I would have struggled to carry him in my arms the whole way.

The physical pressure of the wrap on their body is very instinctually soothing.

Q: How much do you wrap your children every day?
A: Right now, I usually wear Buttercup between about 3 and 6 hours a day, occasionally less and sometimes more.  We go through periods when I wear one of the bigger kids every day for half an hour or so, although sometimes we are busy with school and it doesn't happen.  Every single day I wear Buttercup for nap, school pick up, getting the big kids ready for bed, and a few quick ups and downs.

Q: When you say "wrap," what do you mean?  Is it like a Moby?
A: I am talking about the category of "German woven wraps."  A Moby is a stretchy wrap, and not supportive beyond the little bitty stage.  A regular woven wrap is some of the strongest, softest, and most supportive fabric there is.

Q: What makes wrapping more physically comfortable than other kinds of babywearing?
A: First of all, a good wrap holds the child very close to the wearer's body.  The closer any weight is to the carryer's core, the easier it is to carry.  When the child has even an inch or two of space between their torso and their parent's, that makes carrying the child much more difficult and tiring.  It is easiest to carry a child wrapped with their arms in, because then they have less weight to move around away from the wearer, but even when wrapping arms-out a good wrap job will pin the child's whole torso, from their underarms down, right against the wearer's body.  This is perfectly comfortable for the child, and much less exhausting for the wearer than if the child had wiggle room.

Secondly, there are many different ways to wrap.  You can wrap the child in different positions.  I find a high carry tends to not exacerbate my back issues, and I can wrap any of the children high enough that their shoulders are slightly above mine.  They also like that because they can look around and interact with their environment.  However, when either me or the child is tired, I can also wrap Buttercup low enough that her head rests between my shoulderblades, or anywhere in the middle.  This uses different muscles and allows me to wear her for a longer period over the whole day.  You can also wrap on the hip or front, although I find those more difficult with the logistics of dealing with three children.

Different carries also distribute the child's weight to different part of the body.  I prefer carries with an integrated chest belt, which places most of the weight right in the center of my chest, and nothing at all towards my outer shoulders.  But after wearing something like that for a couple of hours, I might choose a carry with "ruck" straps (like a backpack) for variety.  I can add a chest belt to those carries, which takes pressure off the shoulders but in a different way than the center-chest-belt carries.  There are also carries with a torso pass, which distributes weight all across the torso.  The tie around the waist actually moves a little weight to the waist or hips, and sometimes I wrap it twice around my weight which actually distributes even more weight to my lower body.

Q: How do you do it?
A: All the different carries are made up of just four different wrapping patterns, such as a rebozo pass goes over one shoulder, under the baby's bottom but not under their leg, and under the wrapper's opposite arm (e.g., diagonal across the bodies).  So once you learn a few basic techniques, they turn into infinite combinations.  (Descriptions of the different passes are included in the "basics" page on this blog.)

Q: Is it hard to learn?
A: It seems more or less difficult for different people.  I didn't find it that hard to get started, and when I was wrapping Sunflower about once a day I felt competent within a month.  I still got good carries during that time, but it took me longer and I had to re-start more often.  I started out with one front and one back carry, and when I was good at those I added a different size and one new carry.  After focusing on one carry at a time for a while, now it's easier to add a new carry in quickly.  Some people find that it takes longer to get comfortable with technique, or that it's very difficult to switch from front to back carries.  It just depends on the individual.  Please don't be scared off by thinking it's "too hard to learn," but if you do find it overwhelming at first, know that many experienced wrappers once felt that way too.

The two main techniques are forming a good seat for the child's weight to sit in, and evenly tightening each pass so the whole carry turns out snug but not tight.  It is much easier to learn these things by watching someone do it, but many people learn by watching videos on-line.  I suggest both finding someone to work with you, if you can, and finding video or photo tutorials.  The in-person help will pinpoint exactly what you personally need, and someone can help you get a good carry so you know what it will feel like.  Being able to look at a tutorial later will help you remember the skills.


Q: How many carries do you know, anyways?  Isn't that complicated?
A: I regularly use four shortie carries, six mid-length carries, and five long-wrap carries.  Oh, plus two front carries and a hip carry.  Some of those are variations on each other.  (Edited a year later: I learned even more carries than that, but after a long time wrapping, I tend to use my same favorite carries, with a couple little variations.  I basically have one front carry, one shortie carry, a couple of mid-length/errand carries, a long wrap/supportive carry, and a big-kid carry.  I add in some occasional variety, but

Maybe it's complicated, but that helps make it interesting.  Sometimes life with small children gets a bit... uninteresting.  I really like having something to think about and something to work on improving.

Q: What do you mean by "good" wrap job?
A: A good wrap job is extremely comfortable, but there are a lot of variations and sometimes it is NOT a good wrap job!  Often that is user error, like getting a loose pass and then it gets saggy.  The child being wrapped also makes a difference.  Some children push their feet and straighten their legs, so using under-leg passes work better for them; some are leaners so carries with a high horizontal pass helps hold them in.

Some people define a good wrap job as that the child feels "weightless."  I would not define the sensation that way, but sometimes the child's weight is so well distributed that I cannot feel it in any one place; it seems like there is no weight particularly on my shoulders or my chest or my hips; I just am overall heavier than usual.  A not-good wrap job is not nearly as comfortable, but I rarely find it more uncomfortable than a regular carrier.  Besides, usually you can just re-tie, although of course the child is bound to fall asleep right after you realize you really hate the wrap job!

Also, many carries are adjustable as you wear them, so as the child moves or the fabric settles into place, or you want to adjust the weight, you can tweak and adjust as you go along.

Q: What about little babies?
A: Woven wraps are great for little babies!  That's an age when they like to be held all the time, and wrapping leaves mom's hands free and takes the pressure off her back and shoulders.  It might have saved me from my back problems exacerbating!

And one really amazing fact: since the wrap itself is so supportive, you don't have to wait until the baby can support his own head and weight.  You can safely wrap even a newborn on your back!

Q: Would I like wrapping?  Would it help me out?
A: If you are a parent of a baby or toddler, babywearing is a big help.  If you are a parent of multiple children including a baby or toddler, I don't know how you can manage without it!!!

Q: How could I get started or learn more?
A: There are many local babywearing groups, where you can try out wraps and get hands-on suggestions and help.  There is also lots of information on-line.  The forum thebabywearer.com has a ton of information and support, or you could find the facebook group Babywearing 102.  I hear that Babywearing Faith has really good YouTube tutorials.  If you are curious and looking on-line, don't get discouraged or overwhelmed by seeing people who have tons of wraps or are talking about really expensive or hard-to-find wraps.  Like any hobby, there are people who are willing to put a lot of time and money into their hobby, but that doesn't mean that they are representative of everyone.  Most of us are treasuring every moment with our babies, not focused on getting the most gorgeous collection.